How I got here.
Like many people out there, I have not always been an active, healthy eating, mostly content person. Since before high school, I was constantly stressed and self-conscious. As I got older and school got more difficult, I turned to food as comfort. I am a boredom eater. I am an emotional eater. I know this is not a diagnosed condition, but eating away my problems is not a healthy way to live – and not an easy habit to kick. Lucky for me, for most of my young life I was one of those girls who could eat as much of anything I wanted and not gain a single pound. There were years of my life where I ate more than a grown man, but that only lasted until I was about 17. I slowly started packing on the pounds my last year of high school. The more stressed I got, the more I ate. When I got to college, I was more stressed than I had ever been – I was living on my own for the first time, on top of having to attend classes and such. I had no idea how to live on my own. Food was my coping mechanism. By the end of my freshman year of college, I was 20+ pounds over my ideal weight, and horribly uncomfortable in my own skin.
Eventually it got to me, I had to do something. I made it a personal goal to lose the weight and overcome my disordered eating – and not just by ‘dieting’ or using some method or system. I wanted to do it on my own by making permanent lifestyle changes. I started going to pilates, yoga, and dance classes again. I started biking and going to the gym regularly – and found it fun! I limited my food intake and slowly cut out the excessive processed foods from my diet.
But, like so many do, I let it go too far.
I lost the weight fast – too fast, by restricting too much and over-exercising. I fell into a binge/restrict cycle, and found myself still uncomfortable in my own skin. But I caught myself. I had to remember my motivation for making these changes – to learn how to live in balance. I tried not to punish myself if I indulge a little, or missed a day at the gym. That time was not easy, and it is still a struggle to find the balance between restriction and overeating – something I am still working to achieve, but am getting better at every day.
Since then, food has become an even more prevalent thing in my life – but in a much healthier way. Instead of scavenging in the fridge to diffuse stress, I try to scavenge the internet for new recipe ideas, cafés, and restaurants. My eating style has changed quite bit on this journey. No, I am not vegan or even strictly vegetarian, but I genuinely enjoy my vegetables. I eat plant-strong, and I eat for quality. If I feel like meat or dairy, or other treats, then yes, I will eat it. My everyday eats consist of mostly fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains, etc – because these things make me feel good. I love raw, vegan, and vegetarian food, and seek it out because it provides options that give me amazing energy – and taste really good!
Yes, I have food on the brain. I am a foodie, and always will be. I’m finding new ways to channel my food-filled thoughts into something productive – and thus, the blog is born.
It is still a challenge for me not to relapse and comfort eat. There are times when I will just go all out at the dessert table, ‘sneak’ a snack or two when I’m down and alone, or eat a few too many servings at a buffet. I get really down on myself for it, and it’s not easy to break out of those ruts. But I’m still human, and by writing this blog I can work to change my mindset to match my philosophies.
I do other things too! I have been a musician since I was 5 – I love to sing, play guitar, and a sometimes violin. I love to travel and meet new people – despite my shyness. I’m also a gadget geek. I love tech-y things, reading about them, fidgeting with computers, writing programs, etc. I also love everything about theater – acting, stage crew, going to shows, etc. There is more to my life, but you might just have to read my posts to find that out