Don’t Wait for Tomorrow

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The body and mind are very much connected.  I’m sure this isn’t news, but bear with me here.

I’m always at my thinnest and fittest when I am happy and busy in other aspects of my life.  I schedule my days, workouts are fit in around everything else, and meals are prepared ahead of time.   I can effortlessly slim down with a full schedule and a full life.  Makes perfect sense, right?

But that’s kind of a problem.  Because at the moment, this means that due to my current situation (no job, no stability, etc.), I’m rather uncomfortable in my skin.  I’ve gained upwards of 15+ pounds (estimate) since graduation, I’m tired all the time, and my clothes aren’t fitting like they should.

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[[back in May, on the Brooklyn Bridge.  Hard to see a different in this pic, but that dress didn’t zip a few weeks ago]]

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how much I was gaining until I looked in the mirror when I was home in August.  Even my family noticed how heavy I had gotten – and that was a serious blow.  Even if you know it’s true, it still hurst to hear your family tell you you’ve gained weight.

But that was the last straw.  Since June, I’ve been telling myself “I’ll get back in shape when I get my life together” or “It’s not that back, everything will work out once I start working and working out more”.  Notice the common theme here?  It’s the classic “I’ll start tomorrow” excuse.  And I kept saying it, thinking I was not that bad, digging myself deeper into the hole, perpetuating the cycle of unhappiness, boredom, and eating away my time and feelings.  

No fun. If every day you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow will never come.

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[[last month, on my trip home – having fun, but definitely carrying a few extra inches]]

Sure, food tasted good, but I let myself get out of control, and slipped back into old habits of eating to fill time and space.  I would be “too tired” to exercise, and convinced myself that my body was sending me a message to rest.

WRONG. This time, the problem was in my mind.  I put myself in a misery trance and refused to get out of it.  I told myself I was too tired all the time, so I was.  Simple as that.   And my body was along for the ride.

Hey body – mind says the ride’s over.

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[[we’ll say that’s my “I’m determined” face]]

No, I don’t have my life in order, but there’s really no need to wait.  I can’t keep waiting, or I’ll never get there.  Getting back in shape and tuning back in to my body will help.  I’m not weighing myself or counting calories – I’ve been down that road, and it isn’t pretty.   I’m aiming to be more mindful and honest with myself when it comes to food, sleep, and exercise.  I’m writing things down, saying them out loud, and taking the time to process before diving spoon first into

I don’t need that extra spoonful of nut butter every night.  I’m not too tired to do a moderate workout 30-60 minutes per day.  In fact, that workout will probably boost my energy.

It’s all in my mind, and mind says no more waiting until tomorrow.

What helps you stay mindful in your body?

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One thought on “Don’t Wait for Tomorrow

  1. Gena

    Catching up on your posts, Rachel. I like that you’re honoring your health and striving to find a comfortable weight in this post without resorting to self-flagellation, guilt, and unkindness toward yourself. I hope you find that balance you’re trying to reach — and I know you will.

    Reply

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