For the first time in 18 or so years, I’m not going back to school this year. It’s freakin’ weird.
I graduated back in May, and have meant to write about my experience since. Truth is, it’s been hard. College. Graduating. The world beyond. I wanted a little perspective, I wanted some time to think and reflect on my college experience, but that has not done me too much good.
Now don’t get me wrong – overall I did not have a bad college experience. I truly enjoyed living in what I now consider the best area in one of the world’s greatest cities. I made some amazing friends, had some great nights, and some nights that I would rather not remember.
But school was no walk in the park for me. I chose to study Physics – because it fascinates me. No, I’m not a genius. Math and science are not second nature to me like they were for a good chunk of people in my program. I had to work hard. Many Friday nights (and other nights) were spent at the Physics building until 2am or later working on homework assignments. Most Saturdays were spent just recovering from difficult weeks, and Sundays were homework days.
Yes, I got to explore NYC. Yes, I had some fun with friends. But mostly I worked. And when I wasn’t working, I stressed about all the shit I had to get done.
So I could not be more relieved that I’m not going back to school this year.
In waiting to write this post, I hoped I could say that it was all sunshine and rainbows at this point. I hoped I could tell you about my shiny new job, shiny new apartment, and shiny new real-person life. Three plus months later, I’m still in the transition phase.
And it’s still hard. I have a full-time “job”, it’s called job searching. And it’s not glamourous. It tests your resolve, motivation, and self-confidence daily. There are moments when I just want to give up, when I wish I could have someone else plan my life for me. Hello, the world doesn’t work that way.
The unknown is scary. Probably the scariest thing out there.
Few people get their careers and future handed to them on a silver platter. Most of us have to work for what we want, and work hard. It can be exhausting, but eventually, it will be worth it. I’m only 22, and have a whole life ahead of me. I know I will eventually find a job, I know I will eventually settle into some kind of life and career.
I’m glad I’m not going back to school, but the reality of life is that it still takes hard work. But the good thing about hard work, is that it almost always pays off.
What keeps you motivated in difficult transition phases? Share your stories!