Take a Step Back, Let it Out

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I’m going to stop being cryptic, and tell it straight up.  Things lately have not been so peachy.  But now that the craziness that was my life for the past month or so is ending soon, I want to let it all out.

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[asian salmon salad at Cosi]

So without going into every gory little detail (because that would take hours), let me tell you about my summer.  It hasn’t gone quite according to plan.  What was the plan?

  • go back to nyc to live independently
  • work 3 days (unpaid, not for credit) internship
  • work side job evenings and weekends
  • find an apartment for this coming school year
  • have fun, hang with friends, etc.
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[packing. again – was really proud of myself, I got *everything* together in under 3 hours!]

Sounds fantastic, non? Yes. Needless to say, I was thrown a few curveballs, and this is about how things went down:

  • go back to nyc to live independently
  • work 3 days (unpaid, not for credit) internship
  • get a job, only to be told they hired too many people and had to let you go
  • have a ridiculously hard time getting hired for any job
  • find an apartment, but get screwed over by potential roommates and lose said apartment
  • scramble and stress to find a place to live
  • eventually find a good living situation

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[fridge-is-empty dinner. add guacamole packet to salsa. dip veggies]

After moving four times in the past 6 months, I’m finally settling.  The sky is finally clearing.  I’m now living with a good friend of mine, and our living habits (and foodie habits!) match up very well.

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[life, in boxes]

The internship was a learning experience, a great resume builder, and stepping stone.  But it’s not what I want to do with my life.  After not being able to find a side job, I started to regret coming back to the city just for an internship that essentially costs me money.  I was stressed, and seriously disappointed in myself.

But I had to take a step back.  I did in fact accomplish the main thing I set out to do – to get some real world experience, and learn a few things about myself.  I certainly learned a few things about myself, but that’s worthy of a post of its own someday.

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[traditional last-night-at-apartment whole foods take out box]

I was stressed.  I was spending money, not earning it.  I was anxious, and rather down for a while.  But now that things are settling down, I can see that my decision was not all for nothing.

I needed the experience of being shot down and stomped on.  Hey, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

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[ezekiel toast, hummus avocado mash, tempeh, heirloom tomatoes]

I had my fair share of break downs and “the world is against me” moments.  I still feel like that off and on.  But I live to see the next day – and guess what?  Nothing horrible happened.

I’m still alive and well.

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[salad with Amy’s Sonoma Burger – seriously the best vegan/gluten-free/soy-free burger ever!]

I just moved into my new place this weekend, and I’m still living out of suitcases, but such is life.  I finally have a chance to settle, and begin to piece my life together again.  Goodness knows I have been trying – but it’s incredibly difficult when you don’t have a “home base”

But now I do.

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[fatty tuna sashimi salad yum. cheap hole in the wall japanese food for the win]

And now begins the awesome part of my summer, and I fully plan to live it up as much as I possibly can.  And then get a job.

Have you ever made a fabulous grand plan, only to watch it fall through?  How did you handle it?

Tell me one exciting thing you did/are doing this summer?! I’m going to HLS on friday and I can’t wait!

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3 thoughts on “Take a Step Back, Let it Out

  1. HollieisFueledByLOLZ

    I am sorry to hear the rest of your summer wasn’t peachy, but glad to hear it’s all sorted out. My sophomore year of college I had to move out of my living situation because my roommate was a psycho and smoked pot in the room and got written up 4 times in the first week.
    HollieisFueledByLOLZ recently posted..VB 5k Swim (1:10.55)My Profile

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