[[disclaimer – this post gets personal, and talks about some girly things – male readers continue at your own risk]]
I know its late, and I have to get up early, and I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to post about this, but I decided I have a few more things that I just want to get out of my head. A couple of weeks ago, when I was home, I went to see an internist who practices integrative medicine to help me with my amenorrhea.
A bit of back story:
I believe I’ve talked about this before, but like (way too) many girls out there, I have gone quite a while without getting my period. I know I have talked about a time period when I was not eating enough and probably over-exercising, but I do not believe that is what triggered my amenorrhea. My body fat never went below the healthy threshold – I have always had higher body fat, and still do.
I was late getting my period in the first place (16), and I was never regular. Really not regular, as the time between would go from 7 months to 3 weeks. This lateness runs in the family,
So, when I went to see the Gyno for the first time at 18, I went on birth control without thinking twice (hey, that’s what everyone was doing, right?). It made me (even more) emotional, made me want to eat my feelings, and just plain out of control of my mind and body. That’s when I gained close to 20lbs. That’s when my already low self-esteem pretty much fell off a cliff.
After months of blindly switching brands, I had enough. My doctor wasn’t giving me enough useful information about what the different BC pills were doing, and I was sick and tired of feeling emotionally out of control all the time.
I went off completely, and finally started to turn things around. I lost the weight, but dealt with some disordered eating thoughts – but that’s not what this post is about. After some months of no period at all, my doctor decided it would be a good idea to force it with progesterone pills – since there can be some serious health risks attached to not having a natural period. We did this twice and it worked, but the third time it didn’t. So she hormone-cycled me (raise estrogen, then progesterone, I think…), which is essentially what BC does. Again it worked, but I still felt horrible during, and just plain hated it.
Then, to add to the equation, when I finished my last unnatural cycle, I started to break out like crazy. And no, not just the occasional “bad face day” breakouts, the serious stuff. Mixed acne, including the deep cystic kind. Adult-onset, hormonal acne – that did wonders for my self-esteem. After some months of denying it, I finally succumbed to seeing a dermatologist, and using a few non-natural products to help clear up my face. It mostly worked, but I refuse to take the oral antibiotic for the time being, so the cystic stuff is still there. Gorgeous, right?
Do I know what is causing this? Nope, not at all. Probably a combination of genetics, and most likely, stress. Regardless, I wanted to find a new doctor. I’m not going to say that my first doctor was wrong, but what she was doing was not working for me.
Part 2: Thoughts on Integrative Medicine <–coming soon.
Any similar stories to share?