Happy New Year! I’m writing this now from an airport hotel in Boise, Idaho – we left the wonderful town of Sun Valley today. All of us with sad faces. I mean really, who wouldn’t miss this?
(view of the valley/village from the mountain)
Anyway, I’ll have more on the last days of my ski trip in the next post. Since it is new year’s day, I figure it’s time for the obligatory new year’s post. No, I’m not doing a recap of all my favorite recipes or posts from that last year. For one, I don’t really want to take the time to look back through them. Two, I don’t think there were specific posts that stood out from the rest. And three, I’ve decided I’d rather look forward than back.
Well, I will say a few things about 2011. I think that starting to write this blog was one of best things I ever did. The blog gave me a much-needed kick in the gut, and really woke me up to how horrible I was treating myself. I thought I deserved everything I got – the sub-par grades, the weight gain, and so many other things. I didn’t fight for anything – I figured things would just ‘happen’ if they were meant to.
I see now that I was only reinforcing my unhappiness. I am not an outgoing person by nature. It takes a serious effort for me to introduce myself to a total stranger without thinking that the person will automatically hate because of this or that. It even takes a conscious reminder to get me to smile. Writing this out even seems a little ridiculous. Come on, a reminder just to smile?
But that’s what I need. This year, I’m making one goal – to take charge. For so long I have just sat back and let things happen, and honestly, I’m sick of feeling the way I do. I’m not, by any means, saying I have a bad life – but most of the time I don’t live it for myself. I’m too focused on making everyone else happy, that I forget about myself. I’ve realized this for a while, but never really talked about it on here.
Time to put it out there, to really do it. Enough of being sick and tired of the same old same old – I will change it. Starting with going to Stockholm in two weeks! I won’t shut myself away. I will introduce myself, and even brag a little if it’s necessary. I won’t be afraid of judgement – what have I really go to lose? Only the friend I would never have if I did not say anything at all.
I’m going to do things that scare me, things out of my comfort zone. Going to Sweden is a big one. I’m still terrified about moving halfway around the world on my own. But I’m doing it. With a smile on my face. And a few things to remember every single day:
- I am smart
- I am beautiful
- I deserve to be happy
- I can make it happen
- no regrets, tomorrow is a new day
I want to continue to life healthy, and push my mind and body to new limits. I want to run at least one 10k race or longer. I want to continue to get faster, stronger, and more flexible. I am going to stop caring what other people think, and do this for me. Girls who aren’t super skinny and long-legged can’t run? Not true, I will be living proof of that. Girls who aren’t perfectly fit and trained for years can’t dance? Not true, I dance every day. Only the valedictorian can be successful? So not true.
Don’t confuse this with a New Year’s resolution – I don’t believe in resolutions, they are destined not to last. This is a ‘change’ that needs to be permanent. Taking matter into my own hands, for me.
What do you plan to do with new year? Make it a lifestyle change, not a resolution!