Taking Charge

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Happy New Year!  I’m writing this now from an airport hotel in Boise, Idaho – we left the wonderful town of Sun Valley today. All of us with sad faces. I mean really, who wouldn’t miss this?

IMG 3550

(view of the valley/village from the mountain)

Anyway, I’ll have more on the last days of my ski trip in the next post.  Since it is new year’s day, I figure it’s time for the obligatory new year’s post.  No, I’m not doing a recap of all my favorite recipes or posts from that last year.  For one, I don’t really want to take the time to look back through them.  Two, I don’t think there were specific posts that stood out from the rest.  And three, I’ve decided I’d rather look forward than back.

Well, I will say a few things about 2011.  I think that starting to write this blog was one of best things I ever did.  The blog gave me a much-needed kick in the gut, and really woke me up to how horrible I was treating myself.  I thought I deserved everything I got – the sub-par grades, the weight gain, and so many other things.  I didn’t fight for anything – I figured things would just ‘happen’ if they were meant to.

I see now that I was only reinforcing my unhappiness.  I am not an outgoing person by nature.  It takes a serious effort for me to introduce myself to a total stranger without thinking that the person will automatically hate because of this or that.  It even takes a conscious reminder to get me to smile.  Writing this out even seems a little ridiculous.  Come on, a reminder just to smile?

But that’s what I need.  This year, I’m making one goal – to take charge.  For so long I have just sat back and let things happen, and honestly, I’m sick of feeling the way I do.  I’m not, by any means, saying I have a bad life – but most of the time I don’t live it for myself.  I’m too focused on making everyone else happy, that I forget about myself.  I’ve realized this for a while, but never really talked about it on here.

Time to put it out there, to really do it.  Enough of being sick and tired of the same old same old – I will change it.  Starting with going to Stockholm in two weeks! I won’t shut myself away. I will introduce myself, and even brag a little if it’s necessary.  I won’t be afraid of judgement – what have I really go to lose? Only the friend I would never have if I did not say anything at all.

I’m going to do things that scare me, things out of my comfort zone.  Going to Sweden is a big one.  I’m still terrified about moving halfway around the world on my own.  But I’m doing it.  With a smile on my face. And a few things to remember every single day:

  • I am smart
  • I am beautiful
  • I deserve to be happy
  • I can make it happen
  • no regrets, tomorrow is a new day

I want to continue to life healthy, and push my mind and body to new limits.  I want to run at least one 10k race or longer.  I want to continue to get faster, stronger, and more flexible.  I am going to stop caring what other people think, and do this for me. Girls who aren’t super skinny and long-legged can’t run? Not true, I will be living proof of that.  Girls who aren’t perfectly fit and trained for years can’t dance? Not true, I dance every day.  Only the valedictorian can be successful? So not true.

Don’t confuse this with a New Year’s resolution – I don’t believe in resolutions, they are destined not to last.  This is a ‘change’ that needs to be permanent.  Taking matter into my own hands, for me.

What do you plan to do with new year? Make it a lifestyle change, not a resolution!

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15 thoughts on “Taking Charge

  1. Debbie

    Great post doll!

    I think we could all use the little reminder that we are not perfect and need to love ourselves regardless of our flaws. (who says they’re flaws anyways)

    Who cares that you aren’t super skinny or have long legs. Who says if you do you would be any happier with yourself? We need to be happy with who we are because that’s all we can do

    I think you are a very beautiful girl inside and out. And I think inside matters more anyways. You have a huge heart! I hope the best for you in your 2012!!

    1. Rachel Post author

      Thank you Debbie! This comment practically made my day. You are so right all around, and I hope you have a fantastic year as well.

  2. Tessa at Amazing Asset

    Your attitude is great Rachel, and I can tell you are truly being sincere! Taking charge is a theme of mine for the New Year… it’s a wonderful way to bust through anything and everything!
    These are such pretty photos too, very professional looking :)
    Tessa at Amazing Asset recently posted..Still SusceptibleMy Profile

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